Counting the days....
Josh turned 33 months yesterday. 3 more months to his 3rd birthday.
Emma is now already 16 weeks old.
7th day at work.
13.5 more working days to my 3 week break. Still long time away!!!
TGIF!!!
Finally! Friday's here!!!
I am soooooo tired I am ready to collapse. Worked late again last night but luckily was able to get back in time before Josh went to bed. Star Movies was showing 27 Dresses last night. I watched like 15 min of it and could not take it anymore and went to bed.
It's boss's birthday next Friday. Bee and I are thinking of buying him and gf a short trip OUT OF THE COUNTRY as a birthday gift. Hahaha.
I want to watch SunShine Cleaning tonight. But scared too tired and will fall asleep in the cinema again.
Living day by day
Day 4.
Morning: Emma woke up to drink milk, just when I was about to go off to work. I carried her a while.It was evident she was tired and wanted to go back to sleep and she put her head on my shoulders...like a lil koala bear.
Am taking it one day at a time now. Each day after work, I am in extremely gd spirits and it just spirals down when I wake up in the morning. Hopefully, over time, these emotional rollercoasters would stablise themselves after a while.
2 more days to the weekend. I haven't even thought what I wanted to do this weekend. Just want to spend time with my family.
Working hard!
It's lunchtime. Lunching in today.
Half more day to go. Have a half day hearing in the afternoon.
I am determined to get off earlier today. I am determined to put my son to bed today.
Lao Gong told me he has booked the tickets to HK Disneyland! Yay! Hope Josh will enjoy the trip.
I am so pathetic
I worked late and didn't managed to put Josh to bed last night. It was an extremely crappy day at work. I tried to rush home by 930pm but Josh did not take a nap so he slept early. So I cried.
I reached home. Fortunately, Emma was still awake, so I played for awhile with her. Then Josh had a nightmare and he woke up crying. In a very perverse sense, I was so happy and rushed to comfort and sit with him until he calmed down and put him to bed. Then I went back to playing with Emma but she was already drinking milk and getting ready to go to bed.
I feel so starved of my time with my children. It is just not enough.
I cried again when I hugged Emma and JOsh before I left for work this morning. They shifted abit and went back to sleep. I wanted them to sleep more but at the same time, silently willed them to be awake, so they could see me before I went to work.
Been crying so much. This is so pathetic.
Two kids. Double the sense of guilt. Double the anguish.
The only thing that made me smile this morning: the siew-mai breakfast my parents boguht for me.
2nd day....
I looked up at the date and time indicator in the lift as I went to work this morning. 7 July 2009.
I was feeling very high and rather good about myself after having survived the first day at office. I went home and kept hugging and kissing both my kids. It was just not enough.
I slept like a log last night. I have never felt so tired for a long time.
The high from last night had worn off this morning.
I kissed both my kids before I left, both still sound asleep and I just couldn't bear to leave them.
It's finally 6 July 2009
And I am back at work, after a 19 week hiatus.
I still can't believe I am back.
I miss my kids tremendously. Both still sound asleep when I left the house. I kept smelling Emma. Hoping her smell would rub off on me.
I didn't sleep well. Woke up every hour even though Josh slept through the night.
Why am I here???
