Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Counting the days....

Josh turned 33 months yesterday. 3 more months to his 3rd birthday.

Emma is now already 16 weeks old.

7th day at work.

13.5 more working days to my 3 week break. Still long time away!!!

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Sunday evening at Pasir Ris Beach


















So there. Weekend is over. Time to face the shit tomorrow.
Oh man...I am gona miss the kids so much tomorrow.

A wonderful weekend

Saturday evening at the beach...





And then it was Lao Gong's convocation this morning.Congratulations Lao Gong! Well Done! The two years had not been easy for us. But we did it!











I had a great weekend. Can't believe it's already Sunday afternoon. I haven't slept much during the weekend coz I thought it was a total waste of time.

Friday, July 10, 2009

TGIF!!!

Finally! Friday's here!!!

I am soooooo tired I am ready to collapse. Worked late again last night but luckily was able to get back in time before Josh went to bed. Star Movies was showing 27 Dresses last night. I watched like 15 min of it and could not take it anymore and went to bed.

It's boss's birthday next Friday. Bee and I are thinking of buying him and gf a short trip OUT OF THE COUNTRY as a birthday gift. Hahaha.

I want to watch SunShine Cleaning tonight. But scared too tired and will fall asleep in the cinema again.

Thursday, July 09, 2009

Living day by day

Day 4.

Morning: Emma woke up to drink milk, just when I was about to go off to work. I carried her a while.It was evident she was tired and wanted to go back to sleep and she put her head on my shoulders...like a lil koala bear.

Am taking it one day at a time now. Each day after work, I am in extremely gd spirits and it just spirals down when I wake up in the morning. Hopefully, over time, these emotional rollercoasters would stablise themselves after a while.

2 more days to the weekend. I haven't even thought what I wanted to do this weekend. Just want to spend time with my family.

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Working hard!

It's lunchtime. Lunching in today.

Half more day to go. Have a half day hearing in the afternoon.

I am determined to get off earlier today. I am determined to put my son to bed today.

Lao Gong told me he has booked the tickets to HK Disneyland! Yay! Hope Josh will enjoy the trip.

I am so pathetic

I worked late and didn't managed to put Josh to bed last night. It was an extremely crappy day at work. I tried to rush home by 930pm but Josh did not take a nap so he slept early. So I cried.

I reached home. Fortunately, Emma was still awake, so I played for awhile with her. Then Josh had a nightmare and he woke up crying. In a very perverse sense, I was so happy and rushed to comfort and sit with him until he calmed down and put him to bed. Then I went back to playing with Emma but she was already drinking milk and getting ready to go to bed.

I feel so starved of my time with my children. It is just not enough.

I cried again when I hugged Emma and JOsh before I left for work this morning. They shifted abit and went back to sleep. I wanted them to sleep more but at the same time, silently willed them to be awake, so they could see me before I went to work.

Been crying so much. This is so pathetic.

Two kids. Double the sense of guilt. Double the anguish.

The only thing that made me smile this morning: the siew-mai breakfast my parents boguht for me.

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

2nd day....

I looked up at the date and time indicator in the lift as I went to work this morning. 7 July 2009.

I was feeling very high and rather good about myself after having survived the first day at office. I went home and kept hugging and kissing both my kids. It was just not enough.

I slept like a log last night. I have never felt so tired for a long time.

The high from last night had worn off this morning.

I kissed both my kids before I left, both still sound asleep and I just couldn't bear to leave them.

Monday, July 06, 2009

It's finally 6 July 2009

And I am back at work, after a 19 week hiatus.

I still can't believe I am back.

I miss my kids tremendously. Both still sound asleep when I left the house. I kept smelling Emma. Hoping her smell would rub off on me.

I didn't sleep well. Woke up every hour even though Josh slept through the night.

Why am I here???